She might be the next Miss America

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If you have kids in school, you are probably bombarded with a paper trail of school work. Obviously that’s a good gauge on what’s being taught at school and how well your kid is doing. And as the kids grow older the paper trail grows as well.

So our third grader routinely brings home three to five sheets of old school work each day, in addition to three or four pages of homework. I give a cursory glance to the work being sent home each day and occasionally I find something interesting, like I did yesterday.

This sheet was from a reading comprehension review. I’m not sure if the teacher read the story to the kids or if the kids read the story themselves and then answered the questions.

Regardless, from the papers I could see this was a story called “Prudy’s Problem” and was about a chick named Prudy who hoarded junk. At the end her family and friends helped her create a museum to showcase her stuff.

The last three questions were open-ended and required a written answer. I have scanned the actual sheet because:

    1. The drawing of the kid on the bottom holding the stop sign made me laugh,

    2. Visuals in a post are a fun way to punctuate the commentary, and

    3. I wanted you to get the full experience before I give you my thoughts.

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Question 18: Why was Egbert worried when he saw Evie collecting things?

Answer: He was worried because he thinks Evie will collect too much and end up like Prudy.

Question 19: Why was the setting at the end of the story important?

Answer: The setting at the end of the story was important because it is all clean at the museum.

Question 20: Why was Prudy’s museum a success with visitors?

Prudy’s museum was a success because it was amazing to see.

First and foremost, I wondered if the teacher thought all three answers were great and garnered a star or if she was especially impressed with the answer to number 18. She wrote “Great!” next to 18, but I guess it really doesn’t matter.

More importantly, I noticed a trend in my kid’s answers. She restated the question at the beginning and then gave her answer. Kind of how the Miss America contestants reply in the Question and Answer segments.

When imagining my daughter on the stage — knowing she was exploiting her looks with the express goal of earning scholarship money to hone her mind — I think of this scenario.

Somber, ominous music plays as she reaches into the clear fishbowl to choose her question. The B-list celebrity in a tuxedo opens the paper and reads into his hand held microphone: “If you could accomplish one thing during your reign as Miss America, Katie, what would it be?”

Katie wraps her hand around the mic, above his hand since he will not release the microphone into her custody, leans forward and begins her answer.

“If I could accomplish one thing during my reign as Miss America, I would like that one thing that I accomplish — during my reign (pauses and smiles) as Miss America — it would be to create a Utopian society of people who always wear Converse low tops.”

Then she smiles proudly as she screams into the microphone and waves, “I love you Mom!”

It could happen.

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Note to Disney and Muriel: I can wait you out

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It looks like High School Musical has invaded the Trade Show Guru’s life via his 6-year-old daughter. Now I’ve never actually seen the movie, but my older girls are into it. And that means the baby — who at 3 and a half really isn’t a baby anymore — is into it as well. They all bop around to the songs when the Disney Channel airs a video from the movie.

So I’ve heard the songs. A lot.

And I have to say “Bop to the Top” has become an ear worm, but in a good way. And I have found (clears throat) I want it on my mp3 player. For my workout.

Um, it’s got a good beat, it makes me want to jump about and I’m always on the lookout for an inspired tune while trying to beat that old lady on the elliptical.

Okay I realize I might possibly need an intervention regarding the old lady at the YMCA, but she fascinates me. I should probably name her; I dub thee Muriel.

Just this weekend I had the privilege of working out on the machine next to Muriel. I was
surprised
that she
didn’t start her
workout wearing
her Richard Simmon’s
sweatband around her forehead.
But she had it in reserve
I was surprised that she didn’t start her workout wearing her Richard Simmon’s sweatband around her forehead. But she had it in reserve and popped it on about 15 minutes into the workout.

I knew Muriel was a competitive little minx. Prior to this weekend, I never got a machine next to her. I just saw her striding crazily from across the room.

But now that I’ve spent almost an hour next to her I know we are kindred spirits. She’s not very subtle. Maybe you earn the right to be obvious once you pass the age of 70.

Anyway, Muriel was checking out my stats. It wasn’t hard to see her head turn as she shot me an annoyed look and ogled my read out.

You might think I had to be obvious as well to notice that. Not so my friend. I have pretty solid peripheral vision and we were working out in the row in front of the mirrors.

All I had to do was look in the mirror to watch her check out my stats. And I did sneak a peek in return. How so, you ask? I’ll tell you how so. I used my trademarked move — I turned my head to wipe my mouth on my right shoulder. As I swabbed I took in her stats. It all happens in about three seconds and I think it’s a smooth move.

But maybe Muriel thinks I’m just as obvious.

Regardless, I finally got a read on her. She’s flying through her workout at 210 strides per minute. I didn’t get a look at her resistance level, but I’m positive it’s lower than 13 — which is where I set mine. I hold steady at about 120 to 130 strides per minute.

There is no way she has a high resistance level and is striding that quickly. But more importantly I saw her time frame. She’s set at 60 minutes. I set mine at 50 which means the full workout is 55 minutes as the machine adds a five minute cool down.

So it was on. She got there about one minute and 45 seconds before I did, so our time was basically the same.

I really thought I had her. She felt me nipping at her heels, of that I’m sure. But Muriel is tougher than me.That is so hard to admit. She would not let up. She won. I went 52 minutes and threw in the towel. She was still going strong when I left. Damn that old lady and her Herculean endurance!

Right, I was talking about the music.

So I finally waited Walt Disney out. When I first heard “Bop to the Top” and “I Want it All” I tried to buy the singles, but Disney was playing hardball. They were only selling the songs bundled on the soundtrack. And I wasn’t about to buy two different soundtracks for two songs. Because each one is on a separate soundtrack.

But today I gave it another go and Disney has finally bowed down. They are selling the songs individually. Well, Amazon.com is selling the songs individually. Shout out to Amazon!

So I will be bopping to the top next time I see Muriel. And I do want it all — I want to be the last man standing on the elliptical, I want a bionic lung capacity and I want the satisfaction of beating a 70-something lady at her own game. I took on Disney, Muriel.

I’m just saying you should watch your back you tenacious septuagenarian. Because in 2009 it is on.

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The book of questions, Volume 23

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Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts.

Today’s question comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.

And here it is, Question 189.

Can you be counted on to do what you say you’ll do? What does it take for you to trust someone?

First of all, Christmas really messed with my blogging mojo. I totally forgot last Friday was a Book of Questions Day. So there was no question and I didn’t realize that until Sunday afternoon. And coincidentally, soon after I remembered that I read Susan’s comment saying there was no QOTD. Yes, Susan it freaked me out after the fact.

So based on that one event I guess I cannot be counted on to do what I say I’ll do. That sucks.

I wonder, however, who is going to admit he is not reliable. Even under the shroud of the internet, we all know certain people under a certain handle. And that’s a little bit like seeing their faces and watching them say, “I am not trustworthy.”

On to my answer. A large majority of the time I am reliable. I would venture to guess at least 98% of the time. With regard to the remaining 2% I feel extremely guilty when I mess up. That is when I go overboard to try to redeem myself when I probably should let it go. Just another growth area for me.

Now on to trusting someone. This is dicey for me since I am currently struggling through a lot emotional upheaval and I have been for the last two years or so. A majority of that upheaval has come from betrayal.

And in reviewing and analyzing how and why that stuff occurred I think it stems from my formerly trusting attitude. In the past I have taken everyone at face value. I believed what I was told and assumed I was being told the truth. My actions were guided by my belief that other people were being straight with me.

And that was not the case.

Understandably, I am feeling burned and my attitude regarding trust has changed dramatically. I now trust roughly 25% of what I am told and attempt to protect myself from the remaining 75%. I am also working on trusting my instincts.

In reviewing those previous circumstance I realize I noticed red flags with all of those unmentioned scenarios. But I wanted to believe those people’s motives were pure, so I overlooked my instincts. And that is why I was burned so badly.

So I’m working on rebuilding trust and paying attention to my instincts which are correct 95% of the time. I suppose that’s another goal for me to work toward in 2009.

Now where do you fall on this spectrum — are you a man or woman of your word and are you generally a trusting soul?

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